“She likes bananas!”
Save the date for 2014–always the Furst Saturday in June.
Beavie Sticks is an up-and-coming rock-and-rolling bellydancing beaver babe who took a break from touring to come home to the Triangle and compete in the 2013 Beaver Queen Pageant! Beavie’s been touring with the famous band “Sweetwood Mac” along side her talented bandmates Mick Sweetwood & Whimsy Bucktoothingham! They’ve been all over the world but something always calls her back to her own dam, sweet dam, in Durham.
Beavie may be world-famous but she believes deeply in the preservation of her native wetlands, because after all, just like a white winged dove, a beaver’s got to have somewhere to come home to! Without the natural acoustics of the wetlands, she wouldn’t be able to “sing a song sounds like she’s singing” and that would be a tragedy too horrible to contemplate!
Now everyone knows Beavie can sing but can she dance too? This year Beavie’s decided to stretch her limits and try out some new stuff on stage so be prepared for the unexpected! She’ll spin her way into the hearts of the audience and hopefully drum up some good business for the local lodge!”
Vote fur Beavie.
Dolly B. Parton
Dolly B. is a singer/songwriter who moved here recently from the neighboring lodge of Dollywood. We don’t have a lot of information on her because, by her own admission, “what happens in the dam stays in the dam.”
Dolly represents the mature beaver, the seasoned beaver.she is an elder in her church,Adam and Beav.
Oh, she is a busy beaver working 9 to 5. In her singing career, she has mentored such greats as Eartha Kit, MC “hammered Beaver”‘ her grandson, Justin Beaver, and the Singing Bush from the movie, The Three Amigos.
She has written a number of songs but is best known for her environmental hit, “Go Green, Go Green, Go Green, Go Green, I’m begging of you please don’t take my dam.”
Her biography, “A Tail and Two Titties” can be purchased at the lodge after the show. All major credit cards accepted.
Vote fur Dolly.
Born near the sunny banks of Ellerbee Creek in the Watts-Hillandale section of town, Ethel Furman is a star of musical comedies and Broadway productions, earning her the title of “the undisputed First Beaver of the musical comedy stage.” Among the many musical standards introduced by Furman are “I Got Beaver”, “Everything’s Coming Up Beaver”, “I Get a Beaver Out of You”, and “There’s No Business Like Beaver Business.” One of her biggest theatrical roles was the lead in “Annie Get Your Beaver.”
Now settled back in Durham, Mrs. Furman brings her bold brand of bawdy comedy and unique singing voice to the Beaver Queen stage. When thinking of which beaver to support, keep Ethel in mind and sign out loud: “Clear the decks! Clear the tracks! You’ve got nothing to do but relax. Blow a kiss. Take a bow. Honey, everything’s coming up beaver!”
Vote fur Ethel.
Furrabella Conchita Carramba
From the darkest Peru this Afro Incan beaver is more than a caliente south american tail. A multi-talented beaver of her own kind, flapping her tail to the rhythm of her drum.
Furrabella Conchita Carramba has lived quite an interesting life since the moment she ran away from her rabid parents while living in NYC, taking turtle pond as her home and learning all kinds of tricks and shenanigans from her savvy fellow city critters.
Furrabella’s restless curiosity to discover new places (and herself), took her through countless and diverse adventures around the world. She rubbed tails with some of the most fascinating beavers around.
This dam worldly Senorita has now embraced her volatile personality (to the annoyance of stiff judgers and intransigent dogmatists), has settled happily at the banks of Ellerbe Creek in Duke Park and can often be seen (perhaps looking a little dazzled), sporting her nonchalant allure, wandering across a moonlit night.
Vote fur Furrabella.
Isis, goddess of the lodge
The goddess of the lodge, Isis, is worshipped as the ideal mother beaver and wife, as well as the patroness of nature and magic. Unlike the other beaver goddesses, the goddess Isis spends time among her beavers, teaching them to build their dams and lodges and fighting along side them for marriage equality. It is believed that the Eno River floods every year because of the tears of sorrow which Isis weeps because of Amendment One. Isis now uses her magical skills against the evil beaver enemies that voted to pass Amendment One. She uses her loyal snakes to bite those and cause great suffering, and the only cure is a vote of “No”. ” ALL HAIL ISIS”.
Vote fur Isis.
Stella Spacebeaver (a.k.a. Interstellar Lakedweller, Moongazing Masticator of Maples)
Stella’s hometown lodge was on Lake Neatahwanta in central New York state, but when severe pollution made this lake uninhabitable, she made a big lifestyle change: She married an alien and moved to planet Castoria, which is in a distant galaxy. The Canada-like climate in Castoria made it a perfect place for a beaver to call home. However, after her kit was born, she found herself wanting to be back in the same solar system as her family. Stella was attracted to this area because of the abundance of trees and the friendliness of the critters.
Don’t panic, vote fur Stella.