Archive for May, 2012

Meet the 2012 Board of Corruption Judges

Saturday, May 26th, 2012

Amy Eller
The Honorable Bumble Beever, bought to you by Amy Eller, Whole Foods Market Durham, is a beever who is passionate about pollination. You should see what she can do in a corn field! She’s spreading the message of love from her organic wetlands ranch here in Durham where she’s making sweet honey for her family, wild-harvesting exotic wood in an eco-friendly way, and swimming in harmony in a free-range eco system that is sustainable, loving and accepting of any and all wetland life. To really get Bumble Beever buzzing, just compliment her cooking, introduce her to a delicate flower ripe for pollination, or offer a loving helping hand to your neighbor and spread honey wherever you might fly.

Cherry Cherry Bang-Bang
Cherry Cherry Bang Bang DaBeava, bought to you by Vaguely Reminiscent comes to us from downstream. You may recognize her as last year’s People’s Choice winner when she revealed she is a girl with a little . . . something extra. Sweet pies are her specialty and her secret ingredient is twig and berries. You may see her around town (like she is today) traveling with her talented and elaborate friends Fischenta and Brother Morning wood and the Cherry Pops. Although she spent a few years as a fortune teller in the Good Wood traveling show, she remains mum on the subject of predicting this year’s winner. A girls gotta have her secrets.

Courtney James
Miss Beaver Dam Realty bought to you by Urban Durham Realty is a busy beaver who spends her time making sure that rodents of all shapes and sizes have a place to rest their heads at night. You’ll find it difficult sometimes to rein her in when she’s in her lodge-staging mode. Before you know it, she’ll have your beaver bungalow ready for HGTV. She is happily rooted in Durham with her husband and three kits. To her, selling Durham is like selling bark to a beaver. This eager beaver lives and breathes the Durham spirit and is looking for like-minded passion from the contestants.

Sean Lilly Wilson
Woot the Mullet, bought to you by Fullsteam Brewery, is the co-host of “Woot and The Beav’s Mornin’ Jam” on WORT-FM. He’s a wild and crazy guy – just ask him! Woot has interviewed celebrities worldwide: John Tesh, Michael Bolton and Cherie, one of the Triangle’s hottest Cher impersonators. He has memorized four jokes about beavers. And he doesn’t give a “dam” about honey badgers! When Woot’s not on the air, he’s probably busy cruisin’ in his Pontiac Fiero or rollerblading…or both! At the same time! One of these sentences is not true! Woot!

John Dalpe
Inky Dinky is bought to you by John Dalpe, Ink Waves Inc. Inky Dinky is a newer addition to the Durham Business Lodge. He loves to see friendly beavers enjoying themselves drinking locally made beverages of barley and hops especially when they are simultaneously burning tobacco in the shape of a log or letting it smolder in a pipe. He wrote this poem to assist you in your 2012 campaign for the Beaver Queen.

Listen my friends, and while you think
Read the signs that are printed with ink
Wave your hand and slap your tails
Fill the wetlands with water from pails

Many a beaver has tried and fallen
Hoping I’d like them, then left ballin’
It’s simple to me, and so you’ll see
My vote for beer, it’s the easiest fee

Michael Goodmon
The Great Beav-bino bought to you by Michael Goodmon. Whether he’s rounding the bases at American Tobacco or Hitting it over the fence in Dam-ond View III, The Great Beav-bino and his team are playing for their Beaver Community. Off season, the Great Beav-bino enjoys taking in a show or two downtown and cheering on the Beav Devils.

Lee Ann Tilley
Korky Flapper bought to you by Acme Plumbing is your first defense in wetland hygiene. Sometimes the only thing between you and a dirty wetland is korky’s rubber parts. Korky has quite a few rubber options to do the job. There’s the classic and universal for you old school types. But Korky’s G-Max ensures Miss Hygeniality doesn’t issue you a citation.

Cirque du Castor 2012

Wednesday, May 23rd, 2012

Join us in the Duke Park Meadow (Acadia/Knox St)

Buy a judge, stuff the ballow box, purchase V.I.B. seats.