Last up in one of our most diverse fields of contestants in the pageant’s history, is the mysterious Beave Whisperer, who possesses a most interesting attribute.

Beave Whisperer is a world-renowned beaver behavior specialist, known for his uncanny ability to wrangle large lodges of beavers. Not only that but, from European Hairless Beavers to the now extinct Giant North American Beaver, these now well-behaved beavers have each been rehabilitated, rescued from a wide range of extreme behavior issues – anything from protesting gay marriage to severe ‘red voting’ aggression!

You gotta appreciate someone who has a way with so many different kinds of beaver.

• Bookmark on Delicious
• Digg this
• Recommend on Facebook
• Share on Reddit
• Share with Stumblers
• Tweet this

With a mere eight days to go, it’s time to meet our penultimate challenger for the crown, Beaverella.

Let me take you by the tail into the future: In a universe of “Peace, Love, and Beaver,” where there is no war and therefore no weapons, I am the instrument of all: Peace, Love, and Beaver.

But there are some who would threaten this harmonious world, where the rhythms of time are as sweet and bubbly as the billowing pillowing waves of a lava lamp. When those threatening Dangerous Overlord Types (DOT) arise, I lie back to take them. Wherever danger is brewing, I am there. Wherever weapons of war are massing, I stick a flower in them. Oh yes, you bet your sweet bippy I do. No one will EVER pave paradise and put up a parking lot, for my innocence and love are more powerful than any machine or mal intent of man.

• Bookmark on Delicious
• Digg this
• Recommend on Facebook
• Share on Reddit
• Share with Stumblers
• Tweet this

I’m not sure how up close and personal we want to get with our next contestant.

Dirty Beaver is a rescuee from the depths of Love Canal in upstate NY. Found dripping in toxic waste, she was transported here via beaver rescue barge to seek a new life as a freer, cleaner beaver. Upon arrival at Duke Park, Dirty Beaver set out to find a beaver cleaning facility . . . however due to the scarcity of drive-thru beaver washes equipped withself-scrubbers, she was forced to go to Ingles and load up on Beaver Goo
Gone and handiwipes . . . but nothing has worked out.

No one asks a dirty beaver to a dam building party that’s for sure, and she has been single for some time; I mean that B.O. (you know . . . Beaver Odor?) can be a real turnoff in a social life. Dirty Beaver is still seeking a beaver cleaning crew!
If interested, call 1-800-KleenBeev.

Dirty Beaver believes that no beaver is an island… as sometimes, it
takes a village to clean a beaver.

So far, we’ve met Durga Beaver, HRM Elizabeaver I, Bupkiss Beaver, and now Dirty Beaver.

Who else is competing?

Check back tomorrow and all next week to meet the rest of our contestants and celebrity judges, as well as our MCs and entertainers, and learn how you can cast your ballot for the People’s Choice award.

• Bookmark on Delicious
• Digg this
• Recommend on Facebook
• Share on Reddit
• Share with Stumblers
• Tweet this